Why I Left MKAB and Moved to a New Instance

Note: some inner stuff happening to me and I almost attempted suicide and I don't want go in depth but the people who were on MKAB started making jokes about my dead grandpa as I said on here, they use burner accounts but they deleted it @burneraccount@mk.absturztau.be

For the past little while, some people have been asking why I left mk.absturztau.be and moved to a different instance. Rather than letting people guess or hear different versions from others, I wanted to explain it in my own words.

Before joining MKAB, I was mainly active on hai.z0ne.social. That was where I spent most of my time and where many people first knew me from. Over time, though, I started noticing things that made me uncomfortable, especially after seeing their federation list and some of the choices being made there. The more I looked at it, the more I felt like it was no longer the right place for me.

Eventually, I made the decision to leave and start over somewhere else.

Finding a New Home on MKAB

After leaving hai.z0ne.social, I moved to mk.absturztau.be because it seemed like a place where I could continue what I had already started.

At first, MKAB felt like a fresh start. I believed it could be somewhere stable where I would not have to keep moving from one instance to another. At the time, I did not know much about the problems that existed there. I was not aware of the slow moderation, and I did not fully understand how some situations were being handled behind the scenes.

Even when I began noticing small issues, I chose to ignore them because I wanted to focus on my own work instead of getting caught up in other people's problems.

I spent my time reconnecting with mutuals, following interesting people again, and working on projects that mattered to me. I started creating blocklists, writing blog posts, and trying to build something positive around my account. After already going through one migration, I genuinely thought I had finally found a place where I could stay.

I even told people that I would not migrate again because I wanted to believe that chapter of constant moving was finally over.

The Situation with cmdr_nova

Things started to change when I came across a post asking people to fediblock cmdr_nova’s servers.

At first, I did not understand why people wanted to block her instances, so I decided to look into it myself instead of blindly following what others were saying. From what I could see, it looked like she was trying to manage everything mostly on her own.

Because of that, I thought maybe I could help.

I reached out and offered to assist with moderation because I understood how overwhelming it can be for one person to handle everything alone. My intention was not to start drama or involve myself in conflict. I was simply trying to help someone who seemed like they needed support.

Unfortunately, the conversation quickly became uncomfortable.

Instead of simply discussing moderation, I was asked to use my deadname as proof of who I was. That was not something I was willing to do. My deadname is something deeply personal, and being asked to use it in that way crossed a boundary for me.

After I refused, things became worse.

Posts started being made about me, and some hurtful things were said publicly that never needed to be said at all. What started as an offer to help turned into a situation that left me feeling targeted for trying to do the right thing.

Harassment After the Drama

After that situation, my experience on MKAB began getting worse.

Some people started harassing me directly. What began as tension slowly turned into something more serious. There were threats, personal attacks, and comments that crossed lines that should never be crossed.

What hurt the most was seeing people make jokes about my deceased grandpa.

That was the moment when things stopped feeling like ordinary online conflict and started feeling genuinely cruel. Seeing something so personal turned into a joke made me realize that the environment around me had become unhealthy.

For a while, I tried to ignore it.

I kept telling myself that maybe things would calm down. I told myself that maybe if I stayed quiet, people would eventually move on. I did not want to break the promise I had made about staying on MKAB.

But over time, it became clear that staying was only causing more stress.

Why I Finally Left

Eventually, I reached a point where I could not justify staying any longer.

No server is worth sacrificing your peace of mind for. No community is worth staying in when it starts becoming harmful just to remain there.

Even though I once promised that I would not migrate again, I realized that protecting myself mattered more than holding onto a promise made under completely different circumstances.

So I started looking for another instance where I could feel safer.

That search eventually led me here, to blahaj.zone.

Moving Forward

Leaving MKAB was not something I planned to do. After moving once already, I truly wanted that place to work out. I wanted stability, and I wanted somewhere that felt like home.

Sometimes, though, a place that seems right at first can slowly become somewhere you no longer recognize.

In the end, I chose to leave because my well-being mattered more than staying in an environment that no longer felt safe.

That is why I moved, and that is why I am here now.